The BIG Mistake You Could Be Making In Your Self-Care Routine

If you're anything like me, then you LOVE finding new ways to maintain being the best version of yourself.

 

And why not? Caring about how you look and feel is a great thing. It shows a good level of self-respect and pride; it says that you are invested in how you show up in the world.

After all, who doesn’t want glowing skin, healthy hair, and a strong, able body that wears clothes confidently? Granted, it’s more of a priority for some. But nevertheless, if offered on a platter with minimal effort required, my guess is that everyone would say, “Yes, please!”

Let’s define Self Care. Ok, so according to the Oxford Dictionary self-care means

noun: self-care; noun: selfcare

1.    the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.

That seems accurate; thank you, Oxford. I’ll share my humble take on it.

To me, self-care means taking the time to get to know yourself well, like really well. This could seem silly, as you have indeed been yourself since the day you were born. Yet we can spend a lifetime without understanding WHY life isn’t going in the direction we would like, which could suggest that the relationship with yourself needs more attention.

ARE YOU MAKING THIS MISTAKE?

Focusing on the act of “doing” rather than the “energy of how” you’re doing it.

Self-care can be practiced by nurturing yourself in various physical ways that make you feel good. Whatever that is for you: yoga, walking, a big bowl of organic vegetables, tongue scraping, breathing workshops, listening to podcasts, or reading self-help books. We have an abundance of options. Here's the BUT.

Are you practicing self-care ONLY in the physical sense?

Example 1: You attend a yoga class with the goal of feeling more grounded and peaceful, but while you're there, you speak negative thoughts to yourself about how your yoga practice compares to others or focus on how you dislike the way your body looks.

Example 2: Spending good money on buying organic fruit and vegetables and then eating them while watching television programs that may tempt you as a fun release but, in reality, leave you feeling judgmental of others, anxious, sad even.

Example 3: Spending precious time working out at the gym, with your sole focus on the END result and not being present to find enjoyment in the process.

Example 4: Sitting in an ice bath, tense, angry, and detesting the entire experience.

Do any of these sound familiar? Negative energy and resistance become the undoing of the physical act of self-care, and the gains and benefits are limited. You can't force yourself to love something that you don’t. However, you can change how you choose to look at it.

True Self Care

Do you know your emotional triggers?

(Powerful information once discovered)

NEGATIVES

·       Foods that don’t work for you, they taste good only in the moment, and leave you feeling guilty, bloated, and in a low mood.

·       Sleep disturbances relating to thought patterns or the pre bedtime routine.

·       Doom scrolling on social media, binge-watching TV, with zero self-reflection on how you actually feel.

·       Have you recognised those people who drain you dry like the Sahara Desert?

POSITIVES

·       Eating a balanced, nutritious diet and noticing you feeling great the next day.

·       Moving enough during the day and getting enough daylight can improve your sleep significantly.

·       Spending time with the friends that light you up and cheer you on gives you the confidence to start believing you can achieve your dreams.

Grab yourself a pen and notepad and make your own list.

How well do you know yourself?

Okay, so imagine you’re having an off day and you are less than polite to someone who presses your buttons. Do you have the insight to recognise that your reaction was caused by something within yourself?

Lack of sleep, poor diet, hormonal changes, ruminating over a conversation with a friend or loved one, and feeling unseen and unheard can all result in an overreaction.

The bottom line is that it's rarely the person who pressed the trigger button but, more likely, the timing of the interaction. Even if the person was rude and highly annoying, when we check in with true self-care more regularly, the outbursts or blaming others become far less frequent. I’m speaking from experience. In the past, I had more than my fair share of unnecessary run-ins with strangers. Once you know how it’s easy to avoid.

Self-care takes effort and commitment and needs to be prioritised for it to effectively create change and positively shape your life. Your relationship with yourself is a wise investment and, I would argue, the most valuable investment you can make.

TRUE SELF-CARE – Positive Energy Matters

Whilst physical movement, healthy eating, and high-quality supplements can all have tremendous benefits on our health and well-being, to get the best results, we must become attuned to our internal dialogue, notice the thoughts that only YOU can hear, and if they are negative, learn to catch yourself and do a reset. Look for positive affirmations that speak to you and feel authentic, one of my favorites is simply. “I believe I can”.

Furthermore, keep tabs on the additional lifestyle choices that you make. They could potentially detract from the more obvious positive choices. We can “green juice” until the cows come home, but we must monitor self-talk, and be honest with ourselves to reveal the bigger picture.

Ultimately, the meaning of self-care is simple. It’s about caring for ourselves, not to be confused with setting goals; however, if goal setting positively motivates your momentum, just make sure that you are honest with yourself and have realistic, achievable goals. Can you be less focused on the goal/outcome and more present in the act of taking care of yourself? Professor Andrew Huberman recommends “Attach reward to the EFFORT process, rather than the end goal” and “Learn to engage in the process.” Solid advice.

Self-care should fill you up and feel like a nourishing treat, so beware if it feels like you've paid a visit to a torture chamber. Try to keep it simple: you deserve to feel good during and after. And remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

With love

Cherry x